A better life?

2 years ago. Life wasnt that great for me. Having a breakup. Lost my spirit to do all the things I really wanted to do.

But it seem that after 2 years nothing much changes. Getting bad to worse.

Thinking it will be a better relationship yet it wasnt mean to be. It just full of problems I never even I will ever encounter in my 27 years living. Why 27 cause of you add 2 it 29. So that why this 2 years not even wonderful. I feel lots is missing or gone.

I never ever imagine it will lead to this. Sometime i feel like God is testing me. It ask me to be stronger.

But how long I can be. Everyday the fear of knowing bad things gonna happen. Never ever a day pass without any good thing.

Trying hard to enjoy myself but yet it again happen.

I admit what life without problem. But cant only live with problems if not how to enjoy.

Sometime I wish I never have malay blood in me. I dont know why they hated so much of thier own till they sent supernatural to attack. Ut biggest sin you can ever have.

Why the harted feeling. It never bring you any good. It just more bad. Haiz..

My life if I write all down. Even 10 books will never be enough. The problem I encounter is like so tough even those who know will say how I manage to stay sane till now.

Can you imagine, one after another it happen. Not as if it has a full stop. I dont know what I done that I deserve this.

It not as if I want it to happen....

Haiz I dont know how long I can stay this strong.....

All I can do is pray and try to make it better.